Rediscovering One's Self

My Christmas ended with finally me realizing what I need to do. All the pent up frustrations over the past few months have gotten the best out of me and I just can't keep it to myself anymore. I just bursted into tears. After months of keeping myself strong and trying to tell myself that things are okay, I just exploded yesterday and poured it all out. It had been a good experience, I've got to be honest. After releasing all those emotions, I found myself again motivated to do what's best. And that is to invest on myself again.

I have spent most of my time making sure everyone around me is happy. And now, as I see everyone happy... I'm not sure if I am. I guess it's just best that I should understand myself again and gain the little pieces of myself that I've selflessly given away to people. 

Today, I've gone out of the house and drove a bit around the city. Some places brought some memories, and it dawned upon me that it may not be something worth smiling about. I have those little reminders to carry with me. Reminding me that nothing good is going to last. But... you can always create new memories that is worth remembering and can replace all those little reminders.

Seeing familiar faces again and being in the place I called home had taught me that I am more than capable of doing more than I do now. I can be happy... as long as I find myself again. To piece myself again together who I was, before I have shared a part of me and given it away. As the new year is fast approaching, I'm starting to get myself together and find things that make me the happiest.

And when is the best time to start of all these? Today. Today, I took a hair cut and I feel a lot better about myself. Such a little thing but did wonders to my self esteem.

And this is just start of the brand new Herah. :)